Un-Happy Memories…

 

My daughter (the one in the pig tails) recently posted this picture on facebook, it was taken on Mother’s Day 1981. When I first saw it I smiled, seeing myself again at twenty-three-years old, adorned with three beautiful children brought back happy memories. I had just given birth to my third child and that baby lying on my lap is now waiting to give birth to her third child. Where do the years go?

My heart swells with pride remembering my children at this tender age and now knowing the wonderful people they have grown up to be. I also see a slender arm and a smooth face, but there is unfortunately a flip side to this picture…

Behind the Farrah Fawcett hairdo is a girl, trapped in a controlling and unhealthy marriage. Weighed down in responsibility and much to embarrassed to let anyone know.  If you’re wondering how bad it was, I’ll tell you…

Throughout the pregnancy I begged my doctor to sterilize me after the birth. At first he wouldn’t even listen, but after pleading at every visit and discussing all other options, my hopeless tears got the best of him. He performed the surgery immediately after the birth and I was left barren at twenty-three. A desperate act, of a very desperate girl. Now take another look at the picture…

You never know what secrets are hiding behind a smile in a picture. Since my story has been published I’ve surprisingly received numerous messages from different women, some I know, others I don’t admitting abuse.

Six years after this picture was taken my life took a hard turn and I was thrown out into another direction. I was later able to have the surgery reversed, and was blessed with two more children.

I was fortunate enough to get a do over, not everyone’s that lucky.

 

 

 

 

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About maggiemyklebust

I grew up on the Jersey Shore and now live in Norway. I have also lived in Houston and the Netherlands. I have written a memoir called Fly Away Home.

Posted on May 18, 2012, in Family stuff, girly talk and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.

  1. Sylvia Rabin

    You are fortunate and a great person!

  2. i can relate to your story on many levels and yes you are right, one never knows what might be hiding behind a smile. i’m out from behind the curtain now, but spent many years hiding behind a smile and a facade – cheers to you for having the courage to begin anew!

  3. It’s kinda funny because there are several similarities between our lives. Bad controlling marriage being one of them. You were very lucky to be able to start over and have a happy ending. But honestly, great hairdo!

  4. Wow, at my age you had 3 children, for someone so young you had so much responsibility, let alone being in an abusive situation. I’m glad you managed to have the surgery reserved and that a choice you made as a young scared abused women didn’t stop you being happy in the future.

  5. It was not unusual in the 70’s for a girl to get married and have children right after high school. But, I can tell you from experience it is way too young!
    I would NEVER make excuses for my ex-husband, but to be a husband, father and provider at twenty-three is not easy either…

  6. Your story resonates with so many women Maggie, it had to be told. And like you say, no one truly knows what is happening behind the smiles, away from public view. It helps so many women to know they are not alone.

  7. I am sorry for what you had to endure Maggie, but oh so happy that you escaped and found a better place in your second chance. Thank you for sharing your story and your hope,
    ~ Lily

  8. Amazing what memories a photo can bring to mind. So glad you did get a “do-over”. Life is all about 2nd chances….♥

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