World Autism Awareness Month
I really can’t remember what the first sign was, or at what point my child began to quietly slip away from me. For some reason it was easier to deny, than to ask why.
Did I dare become aware? After trying unsuccessfully to shake the awful suspicions from my mind, I finally gathered the strength to face the unknown enemy.
Nothing could have prepared me for the devastating news. My worst fears were confirmed. I felt so desperately helpless and overwhelmed that I couldn’t imagine ever laughing or feeling good about anything ever again. There were no magic potions to take this pain away.
Once the shock wore off I was paralyzed with fear, anger, grief and resentment. How could I fix this?
That was fourteen years ago and my son is now seventeen. There was no recovery or cure, but in some ways he’s like every other teenager. He likes loud music, junk food and computer games. He also hates to clean his room or listen to his mom. In other ways he’s different than other teenagers. His inability to interact socially, robotic speech, one sided conversations and obsession. There have been ups and downs, good days and bad, triumphs and tribulations.
My son has autism and I can not change that fact, but I have learned to see through the autism. To see the child, my child.